2. Write in very (very) LARGE print. Did I say LARGE? The advantage with this strategy is that you can fill up the page with less words. This takes the “less is more” writing strategy to the nth level. In addition, the sight impaired need not have to use their scroll button to make the print larger. How thoughtful.
3. Speaking of writing, be sure to throw in an impressive buzz word now and then to keep them guessing and running over to Wikipedia. Who knows, while they’re over there they might write an article about you and make you immortal.
4. Stuff your titles with outrageous superlatives that are sure to attract swarms of readers like flies on doo doo. Words like “Superblog” or “Pure Gold“… be sure to keep your thesaurus handy and remember that BOLD thing.
5. Use a simple template/theme design. Some call this the “uncluttered” look. The advantage with this strategy is that it takes zero talent or knowledge to create your template and only a few minutes of your time. Who cares if it looks like it was made using Microsoft Word.
6. This strategy will only be effective if you tell everyone else they should do the same to hide the fact that you have no coding skills whatsoever. Later on when your blog gets more popular you will have lots of white space to clutter up your design with nice, blinking advertisements.
7. Only allow the cheering section to leave comments. Forget about blogging transparency and delete with extreme prejudice any comments that might offer a different opinion … especially if it comes from the competition. (I know this from bitter personal experience).
8. Glean the best information you can find from the internet.Repackage it with all the flair you can muster using your best copywriting skills. Apply CMP (Copy, Massage and Paste) then pass it off as your own content. Who cares about plagiarism. Doesn’t everybody do it?
9. Prepare a bunch of posts in advance and orchestrate your big splash by scheduling them for release one right after the other. That outta impress them.
10. Now sit back, have a beer and watch your traffic go through the roof. Laugh your way all the way to the bank.
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